letter to someone i wish to talk to but cant

A man doesn’t have time in his life
to have time for everything.
He doesn’t have seasons enough to have
a season for every purpose.

A man needs to love and to hate at the same moment,
to laugh and cry with the same eyes,
with the same hands to throw stones and to gather them,
to make love in war and war in love.
And to hate and forgive and remember and forget,
to arrange and confuse, to eat and to digest
what history
takes years and years to do.

A man doesn’t have time.
When he loses he seeks, when he finds
he forgets, when he forgets he loves, when he loves
he begins to forget.

And his soul is seasoned, his soul
is very professional.
Only his body remains forever
an amateur. It tries and it misses,
gets muddled, doesn’t learn a thing,
drunk and blind in its pleasures
and its pains.

He will die as figs die in autumn,
Shriveled and full of himself and sweet,
the leaves growing dry on the ground,
the bare branches pointing to the place
where there’s time for everything.

Today was an okay day.  I was very tired all day long but i found some motivation to keep on going.  High school and football are taking tolls on my body.  But this week, i have found out that i am a very smart young man if i actually apply myself to my school work.  I am doing very well in my work.  I think that football is causing me a lot of stress.  It causes stress because there is a lot of swearing and mouthing, and coaches seem like they are trying to brainwash me into loving football.  Something that i really do not love.  I would definitely quit, but its something that i feel i can contribute to.  Plus,  i am definitely not a quitter and i will never quit anything even if it kills me.  My school work is just a minor stressor.  I dont worry too much about it anymore.  I mean, i still try my best, but i have everything pretty well figured out.

Dear Ryle,

These times in your life are the tough times, but they are the best learning experiences.  Throughout your highschool life, things will happen both positively and negatively that will affect you much.  I know that you think that girls, sports, and friends are the most important things in your life, but that is not true.  The important things are God, your family, and your school work.  If you put those things first, then you will find that your life will be happier and you will not get as stressed or overwhelmed.  Don’t sweat the stupid things.  Don’t worry about what people have to say about you.  The only thing that matters is what you think of yourself.  Be a good and respectful young man to everyone and not just to girls and women.

If i could write a letter to someone that i wish to talk to, it would probably have to be a letter to my friend Gunner Zink.  Gunner was a very close friend of mine, and he was like a little brother to me.  He died on August 22nd, in his home.  He had been mad at his dad for not being able to go to a pool party, and he wanted to scare his parents.  Gunner went down to his family’s utility room and hung himself.  His death was one of the hardest things that i have ever gone through.  In the letter, i would tell him how much i miss him and i would also tell him that i love him.  I never got to talk to him.   I would say that i wish he would have thought things out before he acted.  Gunner let his emotions get the best of him and i would let him know that letting your emotions get the best of you can be one of the worst things to do.